Saturday, 31 January 2015

The Phoney Winter




If only they'd bring you a menu .
" Rain again , Madam ? Gale 'n Hail ? Or chef has some very fine wet snow ... that comes with a side dish of icy slush ." Then at least you could plan the next few days .


 I mightn't have found myself travelling through banks of fog on a nearly empty train , peering out for some sign that I wasn't an extra in a next season's Dr. Who episode .  Still , I was rewarded by glimpses of a deer and a very large flock of geese . Three grey Shetland ponies  stood expertly camofluaged in a frosty field . The odd hawk stared beadily out over the frozen ditches . A red bulldozer and a couple of men with a theodolite loomed out suddenly , like ghostly Bob the Builders .... they could probably have done with a menu , too .
Once in Groningen it was only slightly better , and someone had been knocked down on a corner of the market square . He lay in a puddle of blood  , under a pile of table cloths ripped off a nearby cafè's tables , a couple of building workers giving him first aid . An ambulance tah-too-d  round the huge square ... and stopped on the wrong corner . A bunch of people , coats flapping , ran up trying to redirect it , confusing things further .  A tall foreman walked towards it waving his yellow helmet and order was restored , the man loaded into the ambulance and a policeman tidied up . We stood feeling a little lost . Luckily there was a clue


" At least we know where the tower is ", said a woman clutching her coat closer , before disappearing in the general direction of  the shops ...
 On the return journey we were suddenly treated to sparkling hoar frost  , just  till I'd found my camera and we'd hit the fog again . That night all the weather maps had Amber warnings . No , not snow but sheets of rain  and rough seas .
Still , Middle daughter reported a light dusting of snow yesterday , when I  'phoned .  Small Grandson the Adventurer,  had apparently already put on his wellingtons , grabbed the binoculars and was ready for action .


"It's snowing ! I'm going to build a NoMan !! " he yelled to me and went to the window in case any more fell   . Daughter laughed and finished her coffee first, as we chatted . Perhaps the teaspoon might come in handy when they went out .

The curly kale still had a few snowflakes , later in our market .  
Today we've got blazing sun  and there's a fine display of snow shovels outside the hardware shop .

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

A Warm And Fuzzy Feeling

My grandmother used to grasp my hand firmly every time we crossed the road ... even after I'd grown up and become a mother myself  . And when she had to take her eyes off me for a minute , I apparently had a Guardian Angel , who she'd personally vetted and passed fit for service .
The warm , fuzzy feeling of being safe from any slight harm carried on till my teens , when I promptly made it my life's work to avoid the sensible and safe .
But now it's 2015 , the world has changed and Health and Safety have taken up Granny's role .

This last few days I've been warned about 'functional sharp points' on an otherwise perfect packet of colour pencils ...


and of the possibility of a problem with my box of Free Range Eggs . Under Possible Allergens , it baldly said EGGS .
Good to know , though I was more alarmed by the fluorescent white shells  . Perhaps next time , they could include the word Leghorn prominently on the box , as well  ...

 
The new packaging on Hema's cold meat range pulls no punches either  The smoked chicken fillet might , apparently , have traces of , among other substances  : fish, shellfish , beef ,  carrots , coriander , invertebrates  , kamut and oats . Fish  ??

 
 
I briefly wondered about the warning on the folder in Husband's new medicine , too .



Unsuitable for people with beards ?
No .  It seems to be  "Avoid if you can't swallow tablets" ... just in case you'd missed the word TABLETS on the box . Husband has survived .

But I think the leaflet in a sample tube of  Diaclin foot cream , being handed out the other day at the chemist , wins this week's prize for customer care . Should I  ever overcome my reluctance to indiscriminately firebomb any and all bacteria that might find themselves on my insteps , I hope I'd be able to work out how to apply the stuff all by myself .



But I'm still comforted to think they care  . I feel cocooned , in fact ....

Saturday, 10 January 2015

The Wind Bleweth ...


 
Yesterday I was woken by an express train , roaring past the bed . Well , not really ... you'd have read about it in the papers , if one had  ... but that's just what the wind sounded like , rushing down to the river .
I managed to get to the almost deserted market and back , but left the rest of the shopping for today .
Today it's worse .

Which makes me wonder what sort of sort of supper ... gourmet or otherwise ... I can conjure up from one and a half kilos of apples , five potatoes , a kilo of sweet peppers , a small bag of caraway seeds and a tin of sardines....

 
  
                                            ( I must stop playing with my food .    x 100 )

P.S. Thank goodness for freezers !

Sunday, 4 January 2015

It'll Only Last A Week ...


 
My resolve to be smarter and busier and  do more , of course . 
I used to but now I've settled on the sofa and have become almost L-shaped . So , while I'm reading a lot which is good , I'm becoming stiff and creaky and boring, which isn't . A bit of gentle exercise seems called for ... and , today being pleasantly windfree , a brief  bike ride  seemed an excellent start to my new regime .
It had an unexpected bonus in the shape of a  not quite brief enough conversation with a couple who seemed to be convinced that summer was a matter of weeks away ,
" It's Global Warming , you know . We're going to move to a fifth floor flat . And then we can have a little boat for shopping ." Tied up to their balcony/jetty , perhaps . They were quite serious . The characters in the last two books I've read , Keith Donohue's  The Stolen Child and  Ransom Riggs'  Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children , seemed quite rational in comparison . ( I heartily recommend both books  , by the way ... well worth becoming L-shaped for . ) 

Anyway the sunset was in itself worth the ride .



 I hope we all have a splendid year and that 2015 is kind to us all . And that no gaiters are involved .

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Eleven Shopping Lists Later ....

It's here !


With or without your crocheted beard and whatever colour your tree is , I hope your Christmas  is PERFECT !!!

Friday, 19 December 2014

The One Thing You Can't Be Without This Year

Among all the usual seasonal activities ; nearly forgetting to order the turkey , buying enough gift wrap to wallpaper St Peter's , buying yet more foil , lightbulbs and batteries , writing cards to relatives so distant that I can't remember what their children are called , hunting for globe artichokes that are smaller than footballs ... there now seems to be another  :



crocheting a Santa's beard for yourself or for a loved one ... preferably out of non-itchy wool .
( Sorry for the graininess of the photo . Our local free paper seems to be having an economy drive and is saving on ink )

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Are You Dreaming Of A Pink Christmas ?

No , neither am I .
But , according to the local garden center , various supermarkets and generous amounts of junk mail , that's what we're going to get , Bing Crosby notwithstanding .
Pink tinsel ,
      cup cakes ,
            poinsettias ,
                    paper napkins and
                            three foot high glittery squirrels .

 !!! Girl Power !!!
By which I don't mean feminism . ... no , I mean the Margaret Thatcher grip and iron control of the average seven year-old girl on her extended family.
 





Still , if your life is nor run by a small "princess " and you prefer a jokier Christmas tree , I've seen glittery tortoises in sailor hats , cows on skis and a bulldog in a feather boa ... oh sorry , he's pink .

 
Though you may , like this hairdresser in Groningen , have a more austere approach altogether .